Not too many years ago I had a few dreams: sleeping in, a day to myself, quiet car rides, being able to pick my own TV show to watch, being able to listen to the music as loud as I want to...I've always been quite independent and so to be able to have some time to myself was extremely appealing.
There were a few years when life for me was really crazy; in one year, we bought a house and moved to a different town, I started school we got married and we had a baby.
I started school part-time 30 miles one direction from where we lived while I continued to work about 35 hours in a town about 30 miles the other direction. I worked two nights a week and Saturday's and on one of those days, I left my house in the morning to be at an 8:00 am class and then a couple of classes later, drove to my job and worked until 9:00 pm. It took me three years to get a 2-year degree.
If that wasn't enough; we had another baby during the time that I was in school-all part of the divine plan!
Life was so busy; my husband and I had six kids together and we weren't even 30 years old. At times, it felt like I was spinning out of control; I can remember wondering if I was ever going to have a clean house (I still do, by the way...) because of all the toys, dishes and little clothes that needed to be washed, folded and put away.
Fast forward to today.
Our oldest is now 23 and our youngest is 12; we also have a 14-year old at home so I have a lot responsibilities yet and they "need" me a great deal. But obviously, their need for me has changed over the years and I find myself with more free time to do the things that I enjoy.
On top of that, the church we attend made the decision a few years ago to build; so far, most of the labor has been donated by people within the church. Since my husband, Clint, is a contractor himself, he has been putting in a lot of time at the new building. Every Wednesday night and Saturday along with some Tuesday nights, almost without fail, you will find him at the new building along with some other faithful volunteers working hard to get the project completed. On top of that, there are times when he makes "runs" to Menards or Home Depot (he hates this I'm sure) to pick things up for the building project on additional nights.
More time for me.
I've always enjoyed my drive to and from work; 40 minutes of time to myself to listen to music or a podcast or just silence. It's been a bit of a sanctuary for me for a long time.
I love nature and especially lately with all the beautiful snow covering the ground and the frost on the trees. But I've noticed that with all the snow that everything in the countryside seems to alone; even alongside something else, a tree, a fence, a barn or a road seem secluded because of all the white snow.
I feel that way a lot lately; my drive to and from work seems lonely.
I miss having Clint around too; and it's taking it's toll.
The things I've enjoyed and depended on have "let me down" from relationships to my dreams to people to my job.
One thing that stays the same is my hope, Jesus Christ. Hebrews 13:8 says "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever."
(I tried adding a video and couldn't: if you want to watch it go to YouTube and search Meredith Andrews "You're Not Alone" - I couldn't even get the link to work...!)