The argument is almost constant in the back of my mind; I know I still I need to ask but the circumstances all point to the opposite of what I want to ask – logic holds me back. I know that my requests are heard by God and that prayer changes things…I know it and believe it – but how deeply do I believe it?
Several things have happened over the last few days that have me on my knees (mostly literally but sometimes figuratively) almost constantly.
A husband, father and grandpa went into a scheduled surgery for his back; the doctor found a tumor and told this man that he has 4th stage cancer…
Another husband, father, grandpa is fighting brain cancer and lung cancer; most of his kids live around him but there is one that doesn’t. This son was called to come home this past weekend…
We prayed for these two men in church yesterday, the first man is a member as well as a son and his wife and their two kids; his daughter and her husband and their three kids; and his other daughter and her husband and their two kids.
We sat behind the son and his wife and as we prayed, I was brought back a couple of years to a time when my husband and I are our kids were sitting in a church pew and the pastor was praying for my mother-in-law who was fighting breast cancer. She was diagnosed at the end of the summer and she went to be with Jesus the following May.
The weeks before her death, when mom’s condition was growing worse almost by the day, our pastor still prayed; I remember tears streaming down my face during these prayers wondering how long it would be until Jesus came to take my mother-in-law home; and I also wondered if the people who were praying with us knew just how bleak the situation was. I knew that God could change her physical circumstances but I also believe that he did heal her completely.
I was reading a friend’s post today (at Getting Down With Jesus) and she shares part of her testimony; it’s beautiful to read but even more beautiful in person. As I read her post, I also read the scripture that she prayed from Mark 9:24: "Lord, I do believe. Help me with my unbelief."
My prayers these past few days have been for healing, complete physical healing. I believe that God still heals people the same as he did centuries ago. I believe he is the same God – that He Was ~ and Is ~ and Is To Come.
But there is still that tiny voice in my head that says it’s not possible.
Author of Life and Perfector of my Faith, I want to believe what I know about you to be true and to boldly come before you and lay my requests at your feet without any hesitation! Patient and loving Father, I do believe – help me with what I don’t believe. And God, please heal John and Bob.
Several things have happened over the last few days that have me on my knees (mostly literally but sometimes figuratively) almost constantly.
A husband, father and grandpa went into a scheduled surgery for his back; the doctor found a tumor and told this man that he has 4th stage cancer…
Another husband, father, grandpa is fighting brain cancer and lung cancer; most of his kids live around him but there is one that doesn’t. This son was called to come home this past weekend…
We prayed for these two men in church yesterday, the first man is a member as well as a son and his wife and their two kids; his daughter and her husband and their three kids; and his other daughter and her husband and their two kids.
We sat behind the son and his wife and as we prayed, I was brought back a couple of years to a time when my husband and I are our kids were sitting in a church pew and the pastor was praying for my mother-in-law who was fighting breast cancer. She was diagnosed at the end of the summer and she went to be with Jesus the following May.
The weeks before her death, when mom’s condition was growing worse almost by the day, our pastor still prayed; I remember tears streaming down my face during these prayers wondering how long it would be until Jesus came to take my mother-in-law home; and I also wondered if the people who were praying with us knew just how bleak the situation was. I knew that God could change her physical circumstances but I also believe that he did heal her completely.
I was reading a friend’s post today (at Getting Down With Jesus) and she shares part of her testimony; it’s beautiful to read but even more beautiful in person. As I read her post, I also read the scripture that she prayed from Mark 9:24: "Lord, I do believe. Help me with my unbelief."
My prayers these past few days have been for healing, complete physical healing. I believe that God still heals people the same as he did centuries ago. I believe he is the same God – that He Was ~ and Is ~ and Is To Come.
But there is still that tiny voice in my head that says it’s not possible.
Author of Life and Perfector of my Faith, I want to believe what I know about you to be true and to boldly come before you and lay my requests at your feet without any hesitation! Patient and loving Father, I do believe – help me with what I don’t believe. And God, please heal John and Bob.
I love how you pray with such a believing heart, Janelle. I love this:
ReplyDelete"My prayers these past few days have been for healing, complete physical healing. I believe that God still heals people the same as he did centuries ago. I believe he is the same God – that He Was ~ and Is ~ and Is To Come."
And I love this honesty:
"But there is still that tiny voice in my head that says it’s not possible."
Thank you for helping me to continue to grow in my own prayer life. God uses you in many ways.
Janelle, what a beautiful piece of honesty. I think that we all feel this way at some time, thanks for putting it into words! I know that I was there, when my mother-in-law was ill and I was having a crisis of belief. I did not quite believe that God could or would do two things that I wanted so I didn't pray for the second. I had a friend say to me - that God is a big enough God to do anything! I have to many times to keep reminding myself of it -- daily!
ReplyDeleteIt's a constant mantra of mine: "Lord, I believe. Help me with my unbelief." Thanks for your beautiful honesty and context. I pray Joel and Bob will see it through.
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