God Said.

Hi.  My name is Janelle and I am a life that is changed.

I'm in "that" place right now; waiting to hear from God.  Wanting to know what his plan and hoping I'll hear what he says.  Really, I'm hoping and praying I'll hear what I want to hear but more afraid that I'll hear him tell me something I really don't want to hear.

It's the middle of the night - I want to be sleeping but here I am posting on a blog that I haven't "touched" in many months. 

WHY?  Good question. 

I know the obvious reasons for not being able to sleep: extreme discomfort associated with a little disease that I have; a mosquito bite on my foot that I started to itch...

But is it more than that? 

I have this decision, a choice, to make; and I've been asking God to speak clearly to me and when he does speak clearly, to "make a path."  I know it's a lot to ask, but he says that he wants me to ask, so I do.

As I'm laying in bed, itching, hurting and getting irritated with the blissful night of sleep my husband is getting; and thinking about all the reasons why I need sleep, but also praying, I think God said, "I need you to walk."

The meaning of that, for "joe" reader, is not significant; but for me it could be.

Could be?  Dumb right? 

How do I respond?  Do I ignore him (like I have been for quite some time); do I say "what did you say?"; do I have the courage; do I possess the strength; do I trust him enough?

Do I believe what he said?

I know that God has me on a journey; and even though I don't know what his plans are, I'm willing to be patient and search out what his will is for me.  To be patient, to pray for courage and strength and to learn to trust him more so that when that time comes, I'm ready.