Playing Tag

Billy over at What I Learned Today... has been kind enough to award me with not one, but two awards.

The Love Friendships Award states: "These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers. Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award.

As for the Honest Scrap award: A) First list 10 honest things about yourself - and make it honest (hence, the award 'Honest Scrap'), even if you have to dig deep! B) Pass the award on to 8 bloggers that you feel embody the role of the Honest Scrap. (This is an award only to display on your blog that everything you write on it is in truth, sincerity, and integrity.)*
A nice one, that Honest Scrap award. So I can honestly say that:

1.) When I was young, I was "daddy's little boy." Yeah, I'm a girl, always have been and always will be. I am the youngest of 4 kids; a sister, a brother, another sister...I don't think my parents were hoping for another boy, it's just how it worked out. I did everything I possibly could with my dad and spent as much time with him as possible. I miss that age when my dad was everything to me and the first person I chose to spend time with. Nothing will take my dad's place, but I do have a Father I still travel with and love spending time with.

2.) I am insecure. I was in a relationship with someone for about 7 years altogether; he was emotionally and verbally abusive to me. It has caused deep, deep trust and self-esteem issues in every single relationship that I have. When I was born again, the hardest thing for me to comprehend was that God loved me for me yet it was the thing that turned my heart toward him.

3.) I love blogging and my blogger friends. It is a safe environment for me and when I write, it feels like it's just me and God for those moments and it has helped me to be honest about what I am and who I am.

4.) I have a mantra. "Be real." I try to be real in my blogs; and I try to be real in my "real life." It requires fessing up about the mistakes I've made and sharing with others my prodigal son story. I believe that I must talk about what God has done in my life to bring him glory. If I am silent someone who needs to hear about God's grace may not experience it; can you imagine someone winning 4,000,000,000,000,000,000 and not telling anyone? This is the short version of "be real." I could go on and on...

5.) I am rebellious. Always have been and likely always will be. Not unlike any trait or characteristic, being rebellious can be a good thing or a bad thing. For many years, it wasn't a good thing and landed me in trouble many times. In a time where the morals and values seem to be declining fast, being rebellious and not wanting to conform is a good thing. I choose to use my rebelliousness for God's glory!

6.) I am not vain - but I think I have a pretty face.

7.) I believe I am capable of more. If I don't think I can succeed at something, I won't try. God and I are working on this; I listened to the story of Peter walking on water last week. When he started to sink Jesus told him he had "little faith." If stepping out on water in the first place is "little faith" I'm in trouble because I'm not sure I would have even stepped out of the boat.

8.) Until a few years ago, I never had anyone that I was completely honest with. There were always parts of my life (feelings, emotions, actions, etc.) that I keep from people - but not the same things. I would be open and honest but I would never let one person know everything, including my husband. Learning to believe that someone will accept you, all of you, is hard to after you were told you were not good enough by someone you loved is hard to overcome. Again, God is speaking to me and helping me to heal and trust; it's a process...

9.) I am a recluse. I could stay in my house and not talk to anyone for days on end.

10.) I am humbled. As I read the Bible and learn about the people that God chose and chooses to use to further his kingdom, I know that he has a plan for me. I am the sheep that went astray that he left the other 99 to find.

So, there are ten honest things. And in the spirit of keeping the ball rolling, here are my eight new award winners:

Nikki
Chris
Hope42day's Blog
Patty
Steph
Kristi
Jennifer
Carol

My Beloved's Hands

"Not so good." That was my husband's response last night when I asked him how his day was as he walked in the door.

My husband is a contractor by trade; he is a hard worker; he loves what he does; and he cares about the people for whom he works.

My husband is not the "sit inside at a desk" kind of guy. He likes to be out and about nailing some 2x4's together, or cutting something up with his saw.

He isn't concerned with "status" or whether people see him as someone "prominent" either; he is by far, the most humble person that I have ever been blessed to know.

Last night I was humbled by my husband. The lengths that he goes to in order to provide for his family overwhelmed me. My love, respect, admiration and appreciation for him were overwhelming.

I wish I could say I always feel this way about him, but I'd be lying.

I'm in the middle of reading "Staying Close" by Dennis & Barbara Rainey right now. After each chapter there are a few conversation questions for you and your spouse to work/talk through. In one of the earlier chapters of the book, I was supposed to list six things that I loved/respected/appreciated about my husband. Unfortunately, it had been one of "those" days and I could only come up with two things (and one of them was really lame).

Yesterday my husband worked his fingers to the bone - almost literally. Each one of his fingers, mostly the finger tips, had concrete burns; he had pretty much sanded his finger tips off. He wanted so badly to finish the tile job that he was working on for several reasons; but mainly, because he knew that we needed the money to pay some bills.

As I sat applying anti-biotic ointment, then gauze, then first aide tape to each of his finger tips, God reminded me of a couple of weeks before when I struggled to come up with six positive things about my husband - this man who worked his fingers to the bone.

I wondered if my beloved will have scars on his hands.

Oh yes, my Beloved does have scars on his hands!

A humble man, with dirty feet and rough but gentle hands; not too proud for anything asked of him. He was bruised and crushed for my sin. Spikes through his hands. Hands that worked hard. Hands that loved. Hands that respected. Hands that played. Hands that loved what they did. Hands that weren't concerned about status. Hands of a man that prayed for me as he died on my cross.

Jesus said, "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23:34

Abba Father, thank you for my beloved's hands. Thank you too, for showing me the truth while using my beloved' hands. I know that some days, more than others, I have a better grasp of your love for me; a love I will never understand. I'm so grateful for the man who works so diligently to provide for my earthly needs; and beyond grateful for Jesus, who provided for my eternal needs. Amen.