All Because of Today

Imagine what it would have been like to be Simon, and to have
Carried the Cross of Christ while following Him up Calvary.

What would it have been like to have endured the jeers and the cheers that swirled around
Him like a golfer’s gallery in hell?

What would it have been like to have shared in the humiliation of rejection as He was cast
out of the city as though He wasn’t good enough to remain inside?

What would it have been like to have felt the sticky warmth of His blood from the Cross on your skin?

What would it have been like to have felt the encroaching horror as the place of execution neared?

What would it have been like to have looked up through the sweat that trickled down your face, and see the executioners who stood waiting impassively with hammers in hand?

What would it have been like to have the burden of the Cross lifted from your back as someone said, “This is His Cross; ;you’re free to go now,” and He was nailed to it, not you?

Carry the Cross. He promises that if you do, you will share in the power of His resurrection and the glory of His crown.
Taken from “Just Give Me Jesus” by Anne Graham Lotz

Imagine.
I can't possibly imagine, but today I'm trying to.
I want a front row seat today.
I need to get as close as I can.
I need to see the bruises and torn up flesh; smell the sweat and blood; see the pain.
And to see the look of love in HIS eyes when our eyes meet.

Simon's life was a life that was changed, I'm certain of that.
And because of the sacrifice that Jesus made, I claim that I am a life that is changed.

Tonight, at our church, our pastor is taking us through the Last Supper; communion will be celebrated as well. We won't be there.

We have a small Bible study group that meets together on the weekends, usually on Saturday's but this week we decided to meet on Friday. We will be sitting around a table sharing and talking about Jesus and how he is at work in our lives. Around that same table, we plan to share Communion together.

I am praying that once again, my heart will be changed.

It's Friday...but Sunday's comin!

Smarter than a Fifth Grader

When: Monday evening around 6:30 p.m.

Where: The kitchen counter/bar

Who: Me and my fifth grader, Cole

What: Tough love

Why: Cole's homework

Cole has never been that interested in homework and school can be difficult for him; but it shouldn't be. He's capable of doing well (at least "above average") but he just doesn't care. He has a habit of doing just enough to get by.

He's also gotten into the habit of lying about his homework and various other things in an effort to get what he wants (i.e. to go play with friends, play Play Station, watch TV, etc.) because he knows if his work isn't finished, tests/quizzes studied for, piano practiced, he doesn't get to do the other stuff.

On Monday evening, the scenario was like a re-run for me, and I was tired of trying so hard and putting more effort into his school work than what he does.

I don't regret my decision, but I do have some regret over the way I handled it.

I told Cole that I was not going to push him to get his work finished or to study for tests unless he wanted me to help; then he had to ask for it. I told him I would continue to remind him to get his work finished but I was going to let him put the effort into it. At that point I was handling it well. Then I opened my mouth and said "I don't care if you want to do fifth grade again; it may be easier the second time around anyway."

Up to that point, his guilty conscience was getting the best of him and he was feeling very badly about things; when the thought of having to do fifth grade over again came out of my mouth, it was all he could take. He had to retreat to the safety and solace of his room.

I've had some time to process this and I've apologized for the ways I mishandled the situation. But I remain strong in my position; I'm can't force him to try his best. It needs to be his decision; and when (I'm thinking positively because he's my son and I want the very best for him) he decides to put some effort and heart and guts into things, I will be right there ready to help in any way I can; supporting him while he is trying to be the best "young man of honor" (that's what I frequently challenge him to be) that he can be.

This morning I realized that this scenario isn't really that different than my relationship with my Abba Father.

God can't make me want to be closer to him or make me do my "homework" either; so, he quietly (no nasty comments) and lovingly steps aside and lets me do things my own way.

When I'm ready, he is ready and waiting to help me to and be the best that I can; he forgets about the days, weeks, and sometimes months, that I've only done just enough to get by. He's just pleased that I'm putting in the effort and doing my very best once again.

I decided that I would have to share this with Cole tonight when I got back home hoping that it would encourage him and always wanting to bring Jesus into every life situation of his that I can.

I was dressed and needing to get out the door and on my way to work; a few more things to do and running out of time. And then...

"Tell him now," I hear from my Abba Father. And I did.

I was late leaving for work but arrived exactly on time.

It's another thing I've learned from my "studies": if I want to be a "here I am, use me" person, I need to surrender my schedule. Including the minutes that I gave this morning to leaving my calendar more "open" for other opportunities to present themselves. I have been intentional about not scheduling so many earthly opportunites (many of them "good" things) so that I am more available for the eternal opportunities. Like the one I had this morning.

"...when you seek me you will find me when you seek me with all of your heart..." Jeremiah 29:13