Lately I feel as if I just can't catch up, much less keep up; school has started and that adds to the list of things that need to be done in a day (helping my 5th grader with homework and studying every evening takes up a significant amount of time for this working mother).
Even before school started, I felt as if I couldn't get my house in order; I've been missing deadlines; books have been returned late to the library; I've missed birthdays of people who are very important to me; I've misplaced things; I've missed payments on bills; I've even missed preparing meals - and the list goes on. Then there are the stacks of mail on the counter; the notes of people that I need to call back; the notes that I write for myself of things that I want to do for other people; etc. It seems like in the last two or three months I have not been able to get things cleaned up or put away or organized.
Today, like most every Friday, I have the day off, and my intention was to "get organized." I got my kitchen clean and some laundry done but feel like most of the stuff that didn't belong in the kitchen didn't find its permanent home; rather, I moved it from one place to another - therefore, I'll get to deal with it another day.
Something was different today though; I finally surrendered to what God has been telling me for quite some time. Psalm 46:10 says "Be still and know that I am God." Not only is my physical house unorganized, but my spiritual house is as well; I've been neglecting my spiritual house and I have not been setting aside time each day to spend with God to hear what he has to say to me or even just to be with him.
When I did stop today (surrender) and talk with God about my messy houses, I was comforted with Isaiah 58.12: "Your people will rebuild the ancient ruins and will raise up the age-old foundations; you will be called Repairer of Broken Walls, Restorer of Streets with Dwellings." I've had this scripture on a recipe card stuck in my bathroom mirror for probably two or more years; I don't know what made me write it down in the first place and I can't tell you how many times I've looked at it and wondered what it meant for me. Today God spoke directly to me with this scripture and encouraged me by the fact that no matter how much time passes, or how lazy I get in my spiritual life, he is always there helping me start over. I stand amazed again, at how God works and how much he loves me and that two or more years ago he was already preparing a message for me for today.
God spoke very clearly to me today and I know that he's not so concerned about my physical home as he is my spiritual home; and I believe that my Savior loves me so much and desires a close and personal relationship with me so much that he will use whatever means necessary in order for me to get the message - and today, he chose to use my messy and disorganized house. God pursues each of us so passionately and it is my prayer for anyone reading this that you see that God is running after you and he will do whatever he needs to get his message across to you. If there is an area of your life that seems too much to handle or out of control, or just too sad or difficult - I challenge you to look for Jesus in that situation.
Because God is so kind, I do believe that, along with the spiritual cleaning that happened today, because it is important to me to have my home organized and clean (not messy) for my family, that if I honor him and nurture our relationship like he is asking me to do, that he will help me with the day to day things that seem so overwhelming to me right now; that he will restore and raise up and rebuild things in my house that seem so out of control right now.
Thank you Jesus for loving me the way you do; I am humbled at the lengths that you CONTINUE to go to show your love for me.
Trusting that this is Part A of the messy house post.