Sunday, February 15, 2009

I Want You To Know

There is an entertaining little "note" floating around Facebook these days: "25 Things About Me..."

Whomever gets "tagged" in this note is supposed to provide 25 random and interesting (maybe quirky) tidbits of information about them self and then "tag" some more people.

I have yet to play along but I have read every one that I was tagged in.

A week or so ago I read one that made me cry; it was from a woman who has two daughters with probably about 10 years between them. Number 21 on her list said that she is a better mom to daughter #2 at her age than she was to/with daughter #1; she went on to say that she wished she could go back and do it over - do a better job.

I felt an immediate sadness and connection to what she had written. My heart resonates that statement.

If you've read any of my blogs, you know that my life hasn't been long beautiful walk with God. I grew up "warming a bench" but didn't have Jesus in my heart. I didn't have a personal relationship with Christ instead, I practiced religion.

After my rebirth in Christ, many things in my life changed; one of the more significant changes was my role as a mom.

My oldest daughter, Taryn, turned 21 yesterday. There have been many times when I have wanted to go back and do things over with her because, like my friend, I am a better mom to my 13 and 11 year old than I was to her when she was younger. I was selfish, impatient and demanding, among other things.
Unfortunately, I am still those things with my kids but there is that One thing that is different.

It's the blood of Jesus. It's the love of Jesus. It's also the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

With God and the unwavering love between this parent and her child we have forged through some tough times; we have been healed hurts from the past; and we are building a relationship that is God-glorifying.

Today Taryn, I want you to know, that I'm so thankful for you; I'm so proud of the young woman you are becoming; and thankful that the past is the past. I look forward to the plans that God has for you - for your hope and your future. And I know, with everything that I know, that God's plans for you are to help you and not hurt you or cause you pain. And I promise to keep loving you and praying for you as you seek God, because when you seek him with all of your heart, I know you will find him waiting for you, like he was waiting for me - sort of like you waited for me to be the mom you deserve and need - but way better!

Galatians 5:17&18 says: "The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses."

7 comments:

  1. I think regret is a part of everyone's life, especially where children are concerned. And it's always a little easier to do things better with the second child. With the first, you're sort of parenting by ear.

    But regrets can be lessened, even eliminated, by what you're doing here. Good for you.

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  2. Happy "Birth" day, Janelle! We can always look back and have guilt - but the One does not want that for us! Praise Him! You're a good mom!

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  3. Beautiful daughter...precious words. What a testimony.

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  4. Beautiful daughter!! My oldest son, also turned 21, in December. So weird to buy him a beer at the bar! Plus, he was surprised I offered :) I agree with you. Sometimes I have not been the best of a parent and have beat myself up over it. Other days it comes naturally and is a breeze! But, with God beside me, I can be better everyday and when I falter I can humbly ask forgiveness from Him and my kids.

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  5. God's grace is poured out abundantly on us all and I think we feel that need so keenly in our parenting. Many times I have prayed that God would redeem the years the locusts have eaten, He has been so faithful. Parenting is a vehicle God uses to make me more like Himself.

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  6. Great post. I am so thankful for God's mercy and grace. I have many regrets in my life. It's good to know that He forgets them even when we have a hard time letting them go.
    Blessings to you. Beautiful daughter :-)

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